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A childs reaction to news of a death in the family
Author: Stephen Hill

My nan was called Margaret and lived until the age of eighty eight. Unfortunately she died in hospital and this article describes how my son reacted to the news of her death. His reaction basically put a smile back onto my face again.
I loved my nan to bits and I would always try to visit her at least once a week. Her house was around ten miles away from ours and we would all look forward to seeing her. I have son aged four, a stepdaughter aged eleven and a fiancee (I won't tell you her age, as she might hit me!)
My nan lived on her own in quite a nice flat and I am sure she appreciated us visiting her. She always gave the kids biscuits to eat, and they eventually re-named her "nanny biscuits".
She would always speak her mind and would say things to me like:
"Your looking a bit fat!" or "Are you married yet?"
I did not see this as a negative thing, I used to think it was funny.
At the age of eighty eight, she was admitted to hospital and died a few weeks later, after collapsing in the middle of night.
I was informed via a phone call and in the morning I broke the news of her death to the rest of the family.
We were all very upset, however my son did not seem to fully understand that he would not be able to see her again.
This was what he said: "Why can't I see her, where has she gone?" "She has died and she has gone to heaven" "Can we go to heaven on holiday?" "No, that's not possible, it is a long way away." "We could go on a plane" "Sorry son, it is too far for a plane to get to" "Well how did nanny get there?"
I am not sure why I gave the next answer: "On a heaven bike" "Can I get a heaven bike for Christmas dad?" "No son" "So what is like in heaven dad?" "Oh, it is an amazing place with lots of sweets and lots of fun things to do" "I can not wait until I get to heaven, I am going to take lots of money with me." "Why?" "So that I can buy lots of sweets, of course".
This conversation made me smile again, at what was a very sad time in my life.
Stephen Hill

About the Author
Stephen Hill has a couple of websites at:
http://www.stammering-stuttering.co.uk
http://www.herbal-health.co.uk
http://www.dysfunction-erectile-pump.co.uk

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If a person knows the end is imminent, a negotiation with Death occurs that bears a striking resemblance to everyday negotiations we see in mediation practice. The Death negotiation process goes through five distinct stages, just like a mediated negotiation. Stage One: Denial The first stage of opposing parties confronting each other is Denial, which is also the first reaction of a person facing death. People don’t want to die and the mind simply denies it. For plaintiffs in a dispute the denial often takes the form of unrealistic or illusionary expectations, which is a denial of the reality of their situation. A person who has been aggrieved in some fashion carries that wound or sense of grievance from the past into the present and that sense of grievance tends to take on a life of its own. It assumes such importance in the mind of the self-perceiving victim that it looms larger in her world-view than anyone else can perceive. The wound itself may be real, yet the...
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