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Grief 101
Author: Jamie Specht

"The pain of leaving those you grow to love is only the prelude to understanding yourself and others."-Shirley MacLaine

There comes a time in everyone's life where they experience a loss. Sometimes it's the loss of a person or an animal while other times its the loss of one's health, a dream, or a way of life. In all of these circumstances, one must grieve! Read on to get an introduction this process.

There are five stages of grief. When grieving, each stage will be experienced, but they may occur in a different order or for different lengths of time.

One stage is denial.
**It is normal and healthy to try to convince oneself that the event is not really happening. This allows one not to feel, oftentimes allowing the individual to be productive and deal with things that need to be done. This also allows one to develop other internal defenses for dealing with the loss.

Another stage is anger or resentment.
**In this stage, "Why me?!?" is the overall thought. Blame and anger are directed towards God, the person lost (if applicable) and others. Remember, it is OKAY to get mad!! It is a very natural part of the grieving process!

A third stage is bargaining.
**Bargains are often made with God: "Give me another year, I promise to..." or "Bring him back, I'll never..." are common. Even those without strong religious beliefs may find themselves bargaining. These bargains may be a simple internal dialogue or promises to him or herself.

The fourth stage is depression.
**It is during this stage that the one grieving has the courage to admit that the event is happening. Everything sinks in. The realities about life changes are realized. This realization and admittance brings on depression.

The last stage is acceptance.
**At this point, the event and all emotions surrounding are accepted completely.

Again, remember that it takes time to complete the grieving process. Some people take longer than others. The length of the grieving process is not a measure of ones strength, weakness, or stability.

"..in order to feel anything you need strength..."-Anna Maria Ortese

A few words of warning: Oftentimes, a person believes that it is necessary to "be the strong one" and not feel sad or any other emotions, for that matter. That only hurts more. It doesn't take away the grieving process; it just delays it.

All of this may not always be wanted or enjoyed, but remember the words of Eleanor Roosevelt:

"...we do not always like what is good for us in this world."

Jamie Specht is an author on http://www.Writing.Com/ which is a site for Writers. Stop by and read a bit!


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For the New Widow - Deal Yourself a Deck of Joy - 52 Ways to Manage Your Grief
Your husband is dead. It is your first thought in the morning as you get out of bed and your last thought at the end of the day. You sleep alone. You sit at the breakfast table sipping coffee alone, and stare at an empty chair. Change is difficult and you wonder can you accept the hand life has dealt you. You can. You will. Think new deck of cards. Think one card at a time. Here are 52 ways for you, the new widow, to manage your grief: What you’ll need: One package of index cards—at least 52. Allow extra for Jokers. Lined or unlined? You choose. Making simple decisions at this time in your life will help develop your self-esteem and confidence. Tell yourself, I am my own best friend. Then give yourself permission to have fun. Spread 52 index cards on a table. Seven rows of 7 cards, and one row of 3 cards. Make as many or as few rows as you like. This is your joy. Do it your way. Your goal is to make a happy memory. Start with three blank index cards. Card #1: Write a funny...
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